Seeking His Kingdom

In the mornings, fresh out of bed, drowsy from sleep, I bumble towards a dark and quiet space in my studio apartment to connect with my Heavenly Father. Sometimes it’s funny to look back at my prayers and assess what they consist of. They have a tendency to center around my worries and concerns. Lots of my wants. My career, my day, my family, my work, better work for me, me me me my my mine. We're pretty great at focusing on our selves. I know this from personal experience.

Lately, though, I've been struck by the example of "how to pray" which Jesus gave in Matthew 6. It's so simple, and so little about us. Maybe not so little, but the focus is strikingly different than my prayers tend to be. The prayer is ten lines long, equally split into two halves: the first five lines focus on the Father and His Kingdom, the second five focus on us living in His Kingdom. The overarching theme, if there is one, is God's Kingdom. 

"Our Father, who is in Heaven,

Hallowed be your name.

Your Kingdom come.

Your will be done,

on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us today our daily bread,

And forgive us our debts,

as we also forgive our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one. (Matt 6:9-13)"

Just after this, in His sermon on the Mount, Jesus outlines what our focus should be. Don't worry about all the little things in life like what you'll eat or drink or wear. Because, as he’s already said by now, all we need to do is hand all that off to God in one simple sentence: "Give us today our daily bread." My actual trust in God is so tiny that often all my attention with Him is on my tiny little self, but Jesus only gives one line of prayer about that. And he encourages us, in all areas of life and at all times, to "Seek first the kingdom OF GOD and HIS rightness, and all those other things will be added to us (Matt 6:33)." 

It is interesting that Jesus used the word 'added' here. It implies that if seeking His kingdom and righteousness isn't present in our lives first, then He doesn't have the right setting to add those other provisions to. How can you add the eggs and milk into a cookie recipe if there is no flour or sugar to mix it into? The best you can make of that is scrambled eggs, which are delicious in their own right, but nothing like warm cookies -- especially if it's cookies you're trying to make. You first need to seek the Kingdom of God in every moment of your life. Then he can add the other stuff. 

What if our imaginations were filled with ways to live out God's dreams and desires in the world around us? That's what the Kingdom of God is: "Your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth (where we live and many thing happen which He does not want) as it is in Heaven (where He lives and rules perfectly). This is obviously not yet fully accomplished, otherwise Jesus wouldn't have prayed for it to happen. But contrastly, most of our prayers ask God to build up our little kingdoms, build our realm of influence; they’re centered around our personal desires, and are for our gain and glory. Those aren't bad things to go after, but they’ll be much fuller and better when they’re not for us--not for our sake--but for His. Trust God to provide for your needs by seeking first His dreams for every situation. And carry His Kingdom to every place you set your foot. 

Unhindered Worship

It is rare to come across a person who worships YHWH full-hearted and unhindered. It's so easy to get caught up in how you sound, or appear to your neighbors. More often than not, we get distracted and our focus drifts away from talking to God in song, and back to our own lives. Our minds drift, we drift, from thinking about God and His greatness to our selves and lunch ahead, or that girl in the fourth row, or trouble-shooting three different issues in our week...or anything BUT God. It's easy to do--have a distracted, disinterested heart in "worship." 

But think of this: YHWH is in Heaven, and it's closer than you think. He is sitting on a throne of power. Mighty creatures beyond our comprehension surround Him, hearts, knees, bodies bend low in honor to the glorious Ruler of the Universe. Melodies fill their souls and pour out in songs thronged together of the great and mighty deeds of YHWH, HIGH KING. His courts are robed in colors and jewels that our minds are not yet  broad enough to perceive or comprehend. His heart of love exudes from His Heavenly body, tangibly visible as a sunset mist throughout the room.

This is YHWH. This is the God who delivered Israel from Egypt with a mighty hand. This is the God who sent His Son to pave The Way for us to journey safely from earth to this Heavenly court, that we might join in the feast of love and joy, riches of the Great One's presence. And this One has ears that reach a small stone building on a Sunday morning to hear the love songs of His little ones. And He does not look at their clothes or hair, He looks straight at the hearts of His children. What will He see in ours, that Mighty King of Heaven?

Being You

He was never his self when he was with his friends, not really, not fully. They didn't completely get him. They were definitely his friends, you couldn't deny that. They got his intellectual side. They connected there deeply. It's just, he still wasn't comfortable, not completely, in their presence--in anyone's presence for that matter. 

This was me for 18 years.

It's so difficult to be your self around other people. Pain teaches us that vulnerability is dangerous, and walls are safe. It's hard enough being your honest self when no one else is around, much less when there's an audience judging and ranking your every word. It's when you're not with judges that you don't have to worry how you score, those rare times when you don't even hear the judges in your own head. That's what happens when you're with people just love you and see the best in you. Those rare birds who dig up the gold buried in the depths of your soul and bring it to the surface for the sun to make it shine. Those are the people we crave to be around and in whose company we exult.

Most of the time though, we aren't around those people. Most of the time we feel a judge in the room. And who can really perform well when there's a judge presiding, gavel poised to declare your insufficiencies at any wrong turn? No one. That's the point. The key to being your self is getting the judges out of the room. That's one of most liberating things Jesus did for us, place us in good standing before God, the real Judge. He answered the judge question for us in the most profound way. He took away every judgement that can be made against us and wrapped us in a new, clean, perfect identity. We are God's sons and daughters. He is pleased with us--with you, with me.

The day I realized this, when it really sank from my mind through my mouth down into my heart, it changed me profoundly. I don't remember the verse I was reading, I think it was in Ephesians, and it hit me. There's really only one opinion that matters in the whole world and the person who holds that opinion loves, accepts, and cares about me! Before I realized this, I was generally considered a shy person by anyone who knew me. But when I realized the significance and state of God's opinion of me, I stopped worrying so much about what other people were thinking. I was loved by the one who's opinion matters most. When I entered conversations I suddenly wasn't worried so much about what that person thought of me. That freed up my mind to think about ways I could love and build them up. That's how we are designed to interact with each other, so full of God's love that it overflows on those around us. It's a process of daily coming to the river to take a dip and drink your fill. Daily, every moment, lavishing in the remembrance of His presence in your midst. He is with you and He says you are strong, wise, and good. Believe the words He speaks over you and know your place in Him is safe. Set. Secure.

            I don't do this perfectly. I often forget all about who I truly am and drift into thinking the common thoughts that lie all around me. We are all works in process. It's a daily effort to fight those pervading ways of thinking which work sound like anything less than the truth God speaks about you. Surround your self with His words over you; with the truth of His Word; with people who see the New Creation you really are. Speak those perspectives over your friends and neighbors and Self. Let His light flood the crevices of your soul and make them new. You are a son of light, a daughter of the light. Fear no more. 

Worthy

Growing up in the Church you hear people talk about the idea of worthiness quite a bit. Usually the message is something like, “We can’t earn God’s love (true), and we don’t deserve it (Nowhere in Scripture). But by his amazing grace, he died for us while we were still his enemies, living in sin (true). And now we are saved. Isn’t God so great?!” The underlying implication is that you are not worthy of God's love or sacrifice. And this is usually where we're left, with a guilt and a vague sense of unworthiness lingering in our chest.

This oversimplified understanding of our Heavenly Father’s plans, purposes, and character are a sad, weak representation of reality. It is true that we didn’t earn God’s love, he stepped out first and loved us while we were still warring and simpering against him. He first loved us. He decided we were worth saving. He sent his Son to pave the way for us to become his sons and daughters and extend the invitation to us. He made creatures worth loving and fighting for. Worth sailing off into a dark stormy night where immense loneliness, profound suffering, and imminent death awaited him; because we are worth it. He called us worthy when he stepped out of Heaven and took his great leap into our broken and bent reality. He did this to pick us up, piece by piece, if only we let him, to place us in the fire of his love and melt us down to be formed into something new and beautiful, more glorious than we can imagine. Creatures, as C.S. Lewis writes, so glorious that mere centuries from now lower creatures would be inclined to bow down and worship; though that would be to mis-take a great thing for the fountain and source of all that is good and great.

Worthy of his love? Yes, you are. Not because of your great efforts, accomplishments, or strivings. There is no room for pride to rightfully fill your chest. You did nothing. It was all given to you. We are worthy simply because our Maker, who is our Father, our Dad, made us worthy. So stop undervaluing God’s art. And stop taking credit what what was given to you. You are not giving him or your self “more glory” by speaking degradingly of what God has made, from either direction; too high or too low. That is to merely settle for a lie from the Devil. Speak against the lie and agree with the truth, you are worthy of God’s love.

He, made you: Worthy.

    

The Speaking in Tongues Controversy

 

There were certain circumstances I lived with growing up which afforded me heaps of time to my self which I deeply enjoyed. One, less than pleasant, circumstance which gave me a good deal of alone time as a child was IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). I spent an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom. Sorry if that's TMI, but it's necessary with the telling of this story. Thankfully, a few years ago, God miraculously and instantaneously healed me of this painful digestive disease (a story for another time), but as a child I'm grateful for all the time alone in the bathroom it gave me. I would sit, in a good deal of pain and be driven to prayer. This was before the dawn of smart phones, so one had space to sit and simply be in the bathroom, without a thousand voices beckoning to you from your pocket.

In my pain, or patience during times of simple waiting, I'd start to pray, to talk to my Heavenly Papa and pour out my heart  without any distractions. My little private prayer closet. For whatever reason, this, more than any other time, became a place I would talk to God out loud. Speaking turned into singing over the years. The little melodies I  heard in the stillness of this place, when I'd quiet my  mind and stretch my soul heavenward, I'd pour out of my mouth accompanying my concerns, requests and thanks to God. Paul writes of singing and making melodies in your heart to the Lord. I think this is where I first learned about that.

They say everyone sounds good singing in the bathroom, maybe that's why I was confident enough to make up songs and sing out my heart to the Lord there. I wasn't embarrassed or afraid, no one was around to hear me. I wouldn't call my self good at making up songs, not in the least, but I grew bolder and more fluid in singing what felt. I'd sing as I felt was in tune with the Holy Spirit. What came in I'd simply pour out, without hesitation or worry of messing up, it was just me and a considerably gracious audience; God. Sometimes, what I felt was in sync to sing, was a string of gibberish to skat to the tune I was singing. It came pretty easy, I knew about skatting, Five Iron Frenzy and the Jazz kings I heard in my Grandpa's car told me it was perfectly normal to sing strange sounds that only made sense in your soul, words only the soul could interpret.

"Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we don't know exactly what we should pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with unworded groans (groans which words can't express)." - Rom. 8:26

I didn't grow up hearing people 'speak in tongues' at church. In fact, I'd never heard anyone pray in tongues until a few years ago. I was at a small spiritual retreat with some people I greatly respected. I sat in a table four feet from the speaker in a beautiful stone clad modern room. Small tables grouped three or four strangers together. The first speaker walked up to the podium at the front of the room. Behind him, a glass wall of windows framed a captivating view of downtown Corvallis. The speaker, Ben Pasley, took a  moment to gather and look over his notes classically collected on a yellow pad. A few moments passed. I thought I heard him  mumbling under his breath. I strained my ears but couldn't make out what he said. He began teaching and I forgot about his odd mutterings, until he paused for questions. After one was asked, he took a moment before answering and again I heard him mumbling. I was sure no one else heard him, I was the closest to him and his odd behaviour nearly escaped me observation. Was he praying in tongues? Later, we broke into groups of four or five to pray for each other and I found my self in a group with Ben. We huddled up, hands on shoulders - a good old fashioned football style man-prayer - and as the guy across from me started praying I very clearly heard Ben speaking gibberish under his breath. He was praying in tongues!

The next day between sessions I ran into Ben in a consignment  shop near the building we met at. We struck up conversation for near the first time and I asked him about the  mumblings I overheard. He admitted he had been praying in tongues. "See, it builds up your spirit man. It's like vitamins to your soul. Have you ever prayed in tongues Thomas?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I think so." I told him about my singing and skatting in the bathroom. "Maybe I was praying in tongues, I don't know."

"Sounds like it to me." I asked him to pray for that gift for me and 'impart' what he had. Sounded biblical. He put his hand on my shoulder and said a short prayer asking the Spirit to stir up the gift of tongues in me. He finished his prayer then advised me to, "Pray in the Spirit as much as you can. When you wake up, when you shower, when you're doing mundane things like the dishes or driving in the car. Ya see, it builds up your spirit man, strengthening your spirit's connection with the Holy Spirit." A picture popped in my head of a string growing thicker and thicker into a sailor's rope, connecting my spirit to God's inside my chest.

I grew up thinking God was fully and completely in charge of anything spiritual. If something supernatural was going to happen, He would do it. It was up to Him, right? He's in charge. He's God. Contrary to this idea, I'm finding that God in reality loves working in tandem with His children. YHWH the God of actuality, not in theory or idea, is a living, active, with-His-people God. I like that. Speaking in tongues, then, is not something God forces on us. He doesn't overpower us and move our mouths to speak. Rather, when I connect my spirit to His and speak the sounds I feel in my heart, however strange they sound, it's a choice. I open my mouth and join with Him to pray. Of course we can mess up. Sometimes, maybe I am just making up gibberish and it's not from God. I'm learning that that's Okay. We get to stumble and trip when we're learing to walk in the Spirit, just like when we're learning to walk as a baby. I have a little niece who's just about at that stage. I was on the phone with my Big Brother last night and he couldn't stop talking about how his daughter is grabbing everything she can find to pull her self up to try to walk. She doesn't succeed most of the time, but she's building the necessary muscles she'll need to walk one day. The same process is true regarding spiritual matters. I may mess up at times. We're imperfect and in process. But I knew if I didn't try I'd have no chance of growing.

So when it came to learning the skill of praying in tongues, letting God's Spirit pour through my spirit words my mind couldn't process, it took time and practice. But I took Ben's words to heart and practiced listening for the river gurgling steadily through my soul; hearing it, articulating it, giving voice to it, through my heart or mouth as it felt appropriate to  do. Sometimes, I just felt the words were meant to be spoken out loud. Sometimes, it felt wrong to speak them audibly but my heart was just the right volume for them to come out at that moment. Either way, it was terrifically uncomfortable and awkward the first few weeks of daily effort. It sounded so foreign, so odd and uncomfortable. Am I just faking it and making all this gibberish up? It's so weird. SO WEIRD! For my entire life my entire culture and every voice in its history said, "If it doesn't make sense don't do it!" Our civilization is built on following reason and logic, to rational conclusions and actions. Primitive cultures act on feelings and intuition; superstition. What am I doing?! Why would I say words I don't understand? There can't be any value in this! But what if the words I'm saying do carry meaning? What if I'm learning to speak the language of my spirit, of the Holy Spirit pouring through me, praying  the perfect prayer of the moment to my Heavenly Father?

So I took my medicine regularly. Steadily, I heard the gurgling river become more crisp, loud, and clear in me. The more I did it, the more clear it sounded. When I heard good news from a friend, or a beautiful statement of God's character, the same word leapt in my heart, "Shabba!" like an 'Amen.' Was this a real language? Did this gibberish actually translate to real words in some small corner of the earth? or Heaven?

I don't know. But I can't deny that I felt more in tune with God's voice and leading. I was having more significant conversations with friends and strangers where I spoke encouragement  and what seemed like God's words of encouragement to people. One weekend a couple months into this praying in tongues exercises I hit a crescendo of praying in tongues. I was doing it constantly. Even while thinking and talking with people, the river of it was constantly flooding through my soul. This same weekend I had the most interesting weekend of my life when God worked three physical healings through me, one where I'm pretty sure I saw some angels and immediately experienced the remission of lifelong debilitating IBS (like I said earlier, that's a whole story in itself). That made me think, there's definitely more going on than me just making up gibberish on my own. Things are really happening here. So I continued to do it regularly and can say its only led to good things in the Lord.

Only one time in the last three years of praying in tongues have I felt lead to do so in a Church gathering and, surprise surprise, someone else felt like they had an interpretation. It was a beautiful admonishing experience for our community. That can happen, but most of the time it's a private prayer between me and DAD.

A handful of times I've felt God's presence strongly stirring in me to pray in Tongues, times where it's more Him than me, but usually it's been an act of my will engaging His. I grew up thinking, perhaps along with a few other people, that, "If God really wants something to happen He'll make it happen. We asked Him to heal grandma and it didn't happen, He must not have wanted to heal her, etc..." But what if there are more factors at play? What if He's waiting for us to grow and mature to engage with Him on His business in this complicated spiritual and physical world?

I've never  been bothered by the people who say you have to speak in tongues to be saved. It's always struck me as a such a silly and unbiblical idea that it didn't merit worry. I still believe that. All you need to be saved and  forgiven is to "confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved (Rom. 10:9)." That's all -- full stop. You don't need to earn or prove your salvation in any way, and I want to make that very clear. But, I also want to always remember that there is a lot more to life with God, to walking in His Kingdom, than merely 'being saved.' That's simply the beginning, the doorway into the Kingdom of God. That just gets us Born Again. We are created to be Born Again and then grow from infants into spiritually mature men and women of God, fully equipped to do the great works He's prepared for us to do (Eph. 4:11-13). The Father has so many gifts waiting for us to open and mature in. We don't get punished if we don't open them--our salvation is not at risk. But we can miss out good and beautiful gifts God's wrapped for us. I want everything He has for me. I want to open every gift with my name on it and learn to use it to my full potential.

Ask DAD to bring to mind a spiritual gift He wants you to open or to grow in right now. He is the giver of good gifts and He has a storehouse full of good things for you. Maybe even the gift of Tongues.

"Run after Love, and zealously pursue spiritual things...I want all of you to speak in tongues, but even more, for you all to prophesy (1 Cor. 14: 1, 5)."

nearly escaped me observation. Was he praying in tongues? Later, we broke into groups of four or five to pray for each other and I found my self in a group with Ben. We huddled up, hands on shoulders - a good old fashioned football style man-prayer - and as the guy across from me started praying I very clearly heard Ben speaking gibberish under his breath. He was praying in tongues!

The next day between sessions I ran into Ben in a consignment  shop near the building we met at. We struck up conversation for near the first time and I asked him about the  mumbling I overheard. He admitted he had been praying in tongues. "See, it builds up your spirit man. It's like vitamins to your soul. Have you ever prayed in tongues Thomas?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I think so." I told him about my singing and skatting in the bathroom. "Maybe I was praying in tongues, I don't know."

"Sounds like it to me." I asked him to pray for that gift for me and 'impart' what he had. Sounded biblical. He put his hand on my shoulder and said a short prayer asking the Spirit to stir up the gift of tongues in me. He finished his prayer then advised me to, "Pray in the Spirit as much as you can. When you wake up, when you shower, when you're doing mundane things like the dishes or driving in the car. Ya see, it builds up your spirit man, strengthening your spirit's connection with the Holy Spirit." A picture popped in my head of a string growing thicker and thicker into a sailor's rope, connecting my spirit to God's inside my chest.

I grew up thinking God was fully and completely in charge of anything spiritual. If something supernatural was going to happen, He would do it. It was up to Him, right? He's in charge. He's God. Contrary to this idea, I'm finding that God in reality loves working in tandem with His children. YHWH the God of actuality, not in theory or idea, is a living, active, with-His-people God. I like that. Speaking in tongues, then, is not something God forces on us. He doesn't overpower us and move our mouths to speak. Rather, when I connect my spirit to His and speak the sounds I feel in my heart, however strange they sound, it's a choice. I open my mouth and join with Him to pray. Of course we can mess up. Sometimes, maybe I am just making up gibberish and it's not from God. I'm learning that that's Okay. We get to stumble and trip when we're learing to walk in the Spirit, just like when we're learning to walk as a baby. I have a little niece who's just about at that stage. I was on the phone with my Big Brother last night and he couldn't stop talking about how his daughter is grabbing everything she can find to pull her self up to try to walk. She doesn't succeed most of the time, but she's building the necessary muscles she'll need to walk one day. The same process is true regarding spiritual matters. I may mess up at times. We're imperfect and in process. But I knew if I didn't try I'd have no chance of growing.

So when it came to learning the skill of praying in tongues, letting God's Spirit pour through my spirit words my mind couldn't process, it took time and practice. But I took Ben's words to heart and practiced listening for the river gurgling steadily through my soul; hearing it, articulating it, giving voice to it, through my heart or mouth as it felt appropriate to  do. Sometimes, I just felt the words were meant to be spoken out loud. Sometimes, it felt wrong to speak them audibly but my heart was just the right volume for them to come out at that moment. Either way, it was terrifically uncomfortable and awkward the first few weeks of daily effort. It sounded so foreign, so odd and uncomfortable. Am I just faking it and making all this gibberish up? It's so weird. SO WEIRD! For my entire life my entire culture and every voice in its history said, "If it doesn't make sense don't do it!" Our civilization is built on following reason and logic, to rational conclusions and actions. Primitive cultures act on feelings and intuition; superstition. What am I doing?! Why would I say words I don't understand? There can't be any value in this! But what if the words I'm saying do carry meaning? What if I'm learning to speak the language of my spirit, of the Holy Spirit pouring through me, praying  the perfect prayer of the moment to my Heavenly Father?

So I took my medicine regularly. Steadily, I heard the gurgling river become more crisp, loud, and clear in me. The more I did it, the more clear it sounded. When I heard good news from a friend, or a beautiful statement of God's character, the same word leapt in my heart, "Shabba!" like an 'Amen.' Was this a real language? Did this gibberish actually translate to real words in some small corner of the earth? or Heaven?

I don't know. But I can't deny that I felt more in tune with God's voice and leading. I was having more significant conversations with friends and strangers where I spoke encouragement  and what seemed like God's words of encouragement to people. One weekend a couple months into this praying in tongues exercises I hit a crescendo of praying in tongues. I was doing it constantly. Even while thinking and talking with people, the river of it was constantly flooding through my soul. This same weekend I had the most interesting weekend of my life when God worked three physical healings through me, one where I'm pretty sure I saw some angels and immediately experienced the remission of lifelong debilitating IBS (like I said earlier, that's a whole story in itself). That made me think, there's definitely more going on than me just making up gibberish on my own. Things are really happening here. So I continued to do it regularly and can say its only led to good things in the Lord.

Only one time in the last three years of praying in tongues have I felt lead to do so in a Church gathering and, surprise surprise, someone else felt like they had an interpretation. It was a beautiful admonishing experience for our community. That can happen. But most of the time, it's a private prayer between me and DAD.

A handful of times I've felt God's presence strongly stirring in me to pray in Tongues, times where it's more Him than me, but usually it's been an act of my will engaging His. I grew up thinking, perhaps along with a few other people, that, "If God really wants something to happen He'll make it happen. We asked Him to heal grandma and it didn't happen, He must not have wanted to heal her, etc..." But what if there are more factors at play? What if He's waiting for us to grow and mature to engage with Him on His business in this complicated spiritual and physical world?

I've never  been bothered by the people who say you have to speak in tongues to be saved. It's always struck me as a such a silly and unbiblical idea that it didn't merit worry. I still believe that. All you need to be saved and  forgiven is to "confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved (Rom. 10:9)." That's all -- full stop. You don't need to earn or prove your salvation in any way, and I want to make that very clear. But, I also want to always remember that there is a lot more to life with God, to walking in His Kingdom, than merely 'being saved.' That's simply the beginning, the doorway into the Kingdom of God. That just gets us Born Again. We are created to be Born Again and then grow from infants into spiritually mature men and women of God, fully equipped to do the great works He's prepared for us to do (Eph. 4:11-13). The Father has so many gifts waiting for us to open and mature in. We don't get punished if we don't open them--our salvation is not at risk. But we can miss out good and beautiful gifts God's wrapped for us. I want everything He has for me. I want to open every gift with my name on it and learn to use it to my full potential.

Ask DAD to bring to mind a spiritual gift He wants you to open or to grow in right now. He is the giver of good gifts and He has a storehouse full of good things for you. Maybe even the gift of Tongues.

"Run after Love, and zealously pursue spiritual things...I want all of you to speak in tongues, but even more, for you all to prophesy (1 Cor. 14: 1, 5)."

God's Great Gift: His Spirit

Jesus spoke of one aid in our walk toward living Heaven on Earth that thrusts us further than all the rest. One thing Jesus left his followers, even before the gift of the written records of his life and words, his Holy Spirit.

“In Him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28)." We live in Him - in Jesus, who is in the Father. But the only way this is possible is by, through, and in his Holy Spirit.

“It is good I’m am going, for when I do, I will send you the Counselor, the Spirit of Truth, and He will guide you into all truth...You can trust Him for He only speaks what He hears me saying (John 16:7, 13).”

I grew up in what I call the more "cerebral" side of the Church, as I wrote about here. There were countless advantages from this upbringing that I wouldn't trade for the world, but one of the major drawbacks was a distrust of people who claimed to have serious dealings with the Holy Spirit. It came in like one of those weeds that looks like a flower but only serves to suck the life from the roses it surrounds. No one outright said that the Holy Spirit was to be distrusted, but I was warned against 'those crazy pentecostals' by stories of painful encounters from one person after another. Stories of being told "you're not 'saved' if you don't speak in ‘tongues.’” I don’t know about you, but being told you’re “not saved” is never a pleasant thing to hear from anyone, especially as an ardently practicing Christian.

I was told in church that these Pentecostals were driven by emotions. I was asked in college, “How can you know if a feeling is the Holy Spirit or merely indigestion?” However it was put, the underlying message was always the same, “You can’t trust feelings, who knows where they come from, whether they’re yours or God’s or your breakfasts’. But the mind, you can trust your mind. You can measure and assess and make informed decisions with your mind.”

So the mind was crowned king and few questioned his reign. And why should they? He is the most sensible ruler, the reasonable choice. But the problem is, he doesn’t, and can’t on his own, illustrate the full picture of any situation. Especially life with God and His Spirit. I can only figure out so much with my own mind. There's so much territory in my soul and the world it leaves uncharted. I need more than mere reason can supply. Yes, the vats of information accessible at the click of a button are vast and quickly expanding, but how much they have to say about the everyday personal decisions that matter in our lives is painfully limited. If God really can speak to us directly, and guide us throughout the day, well, that’s an invaluable resource. If we can converse with our Maker and Heavenly Father, and He could speak directly to us, well, He might have a few things to say worth listening to. Nay, the whole reason Jesus came to die for us was to connect us to the Father through the Holy Spirit. He's worth all our attention.

"But when that one, the Spirit of Truth comes, He will guide you down the path to all truth. For He does not speak from Himself, but He will only speak what He hears; and He will disclose to you what is to come. (John 16:13)"

God’s Spirit is with you, waiting to have your attention. He is trying to speak to us. He wants what every relationship wants; to know you and be known by you. Let’s journey together to learn His voice from all the rest, He has wonderful, aiding, and tender words for each of us. Ask what He wants you to hear today. Trust He is always speaking. He wants to speak with you.

Our New Painting

Some of you might remember a few weeks ago when I posted this poem to the blog. For Valentine's Day, my wonderful wife turned it into Banksy-inspired watercolor painting which we now have happily hanging in our living room--and which I couldn't resist sharing with you. What do you think?

Progressive Revelation

I was a child once. I waddled my way across short lengths of grass and trees and sawdust leaves. I marveled at the vast adventures, all waiting latent for my ‘strength’ to propel me up great tall trees lifting me closer to the impossibly distant blue roof beyond. But, to my dismay, my waddles didn’t get me very far. For that my Dad scooped me up in his firm arms and placed me in his blue striped pickup truck. Strapped into the back seat we flew down country roads past lakes and forests and deep dark mountains. In my Dad’s care I flew. I’m still flying today.

It’s in the bones of a Dad to grow his kids. To meet them where they are and take them higher. To stretch and strengthen their feet so they can stand firm and tall. Until they mature, kids misunderstand much about the world their parents inhabit. Complex issues are simplified when a Mom talks to her daughter. Gray and murky waters are laid out in clear black and white only to, later in life, give way to the full spectrum of color which reality inhabits. “Don’t pull out the daisies!” is replaced by “Trim and water the roses.” We can understand more, and we’re capable of doing more. So it is with our Heavenly Dad. And this is how I’ve come to see Him when history looks confusing.

There are so many times that God looks confusing and inconsistent in the Bible. He prohibits people from eating an array of items, but later says “all food is on the table." He tells Israel to go to war and yes, to kill, but then later says that if you hate anyone it’s as bad as murdering them. A little odd, don’t you think, God? All of this and so much more confused the pants off me until I heard one little phrase explained that helped me see God’s Dad-nature pop out amidst the confusion: Progressive Revelation.

This idea gives the best explanation of why God seems to be different at different times in Scripture, even though it says He doesn’t change. Progressive Revelation says that God works to meet people where they are in order to interact with and elevate them to a place where they can perceive Him and reality more fully. This stepping down to our level and meeting us where we are is beautifully exemplified in God’s sending of Jesus to earth as a human to teach, show, and bring us the abundant life He desires us to have. Jesus didn’t come in the fullness of His Godness (Phil. 2:5-11). If he did, we couldn’t comprehend Him or what He would want to convey to us. We simply wouldn’t be able to relate to or understand Him. There are countless ways He steps down to accommodate us. He spoke in Hebrew to Moses and Elijah. He gave Israel a religious and sacrificial system similar to other people groups around them. He allowed for divorce when society couldn’t comprehend the place God intended women and marriage to hold.

    One of the most blatant ways we see this accommodation is when Jesus speaks to a crowd gathered around him on a mountain. He says that He has come to fill up the law, not to break it. He then goes on to give teachings that are much different than what was written in the Jewish Law. He says hating someone is equal to killing them; looking lustfully after a woman is as bad as sleeping with her; divorce is not His desire, and much much more. This can be confusing at first hearing because it seems like everything he says goes against what God originally said in the Old Testament. Wait God--you said an eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth but now I’m supposed to turn my other cheek and pray good for them? These are very different statements. What’s happening here is God revealing more fully His character and desires. Jesus raises each of these earlier commands to its full stature.

He even goes on to say that God only allowed for divorce in the Law that Moses brought because the people were too blind and immature to hear God's true desire: that there would be no divorce (Matt 19:8-9).

    Of course, this topic could (and does) take up entire books; the nature of God is not something that can be tidily explained away. But it is a comfort and a revelation to know that God is constantly fathering humanity toward life so full it spills over its edges. The larger our capacities grow to perceive Him and His ways, the more He pulls us up into new heights of life. He wants us to have more of Him, more of who we truly are, more of Life to the fullest.

We have this progressive revelation of God throughout Scripture which reaches its zenith in Jesus; He is the unveiled image of the invisible God (Col 1:15). In Him, the fullness of God dwells. When God looks confusing, think of this. Look at Jesus back then through Scripture and today through His Spirit and those whom He pours Himself through. And consider: how might you drink deeper of the life he continues to pour through His Word and Spirit today?

Identity: The Prisoner Set Free

Philippians 3:3

“For we are the people of God if we worship in The Spirit of God and have our confidence rooted in Christ Jesus, not our own strength and abilities (flesh).”

Contrary to popular belief, you are not merely the sum of your experiences, positive or negative. You are the sum of what your Maker speaks over you. You can choose to agree with what He says and live out your true identity, filling out the shoes He's given you more and more day after day, or you can put your trust in your own experiences and let them define you. Many times I find my own self a mix of incongruous ideas pilfered from both of these places, but here are the two laid out plain.

If we base our identity on our accomplishments, successes, failures, tastes, interests, desires or preferences then we build the foundation of our identity on unsettled, constantly shifting, specs of sand. This is referred to as having confidence in the “flesh" in the Bible. And this practice is the sole cause of two seeming opposites who happen to actually be siblings: pride and depression, the most potent destroyers of the overflow of life and joy God intends us to have (Jn 10:10).

See, Jesus died for every person in the world’s entire history. Past, present, and future. “He died for the sins of the world (1 John 2:2)." When that happened, God forgave every sin anyone had ever done or will ever do. He unlocked the prison door that kept us from living fully alive. He knew we could not escape to freedom without His aid. We were made to live united with God and grow ever increasingly full of life, and joy, and solid reality. But the only way to do that fully is with Him, in His power.

So, He shaped His Son in the form of the key for the lock of our prison. His death on our behalf unlocked the door to our freedom. There are many passageways in this prison, many doors we may walk through, but His is the one which leads outside the razor topped walls; most merely take us from one cell block to the next - one man might, in an attempt to flee the prison of self-loathing depression, simply run to the padded room of tolerance where all things are tolerable but nothing is solid or substantial. He is trapped by new walls, but the effect is the same. Many say this is all there is in life, an endless variety of prison walls. But the joy I taste in Christ sings a freer tune. This freedom is not mandatory though. God is a true Dad, full of love and eager to grow His little ones into mature Selves. We have a will. We have choice. Countless choices in fact, which shape the Self we see as us in everyday life.

So, we work with Him. He unlocks the steel barred door keeping me from my real self and I take one step, His strength in my bones; then another, and another, in Him. A voice whispers, “I have sent you The Great Helper. He will guide you through the prison, tell you every turn you need to take and teach you all you need to know. He will empower you to do everything I ask of you. He will supply your every need and lead you to understanding. Receive Him for who He is. Lean on Him, trust Him, turn to Him, and talk with Him. He is my Spirit. I am with you."

When we receive Jesus, we receive his rescue from prison. Not a prison of this world but the prison of our selves - where we are constantly fixated on our own status and pleasure and pain. He opens me up to serve with acts of love, Him, my neighbors, as well as my self, in a way most healthy and beneficial to each. When we receive His Spirit we are connected with God: Father, Son, Holy Spirit. His Spirit leads us into all truth and one of the first and most foundational truths is that we are adopted by God; the Father of all creation becomes our Father. And to bring that to full effect we must receive Him as Dad. Speak to him and say, “ I am your Daughter/Son, You are my High Father.”

This is your True Identity. God has said you are His child. He knows True Reality. Receive His words over you. Trust what He says in His Word above what you’ve heard, said, and experienced. He sees all the past, present, and future as they really are. He sees you through Jesus' blood: blameless, pure, and righteous. Trust what He sees.  Speak your agreement with His perspective--actual reality. Receive the identity He sees you as: a dearly loved child of God.

That’s who you are. Receive it. Trust it. study it. Meditate on it. And live it. Then, walk with God and set others free.

The Father Spot

We all want to be loved by our parents. We all have that deep-seated yearning for their affection and approval. It's hardwired into our nature. But, unfortunately, I've never known a single person who's had this desire fully satisfied. Everyone walks around with dull aches and sharp pains from their mom or their dad. Even the best parents make mistakes. I myself had some of the best ones I've ever heard of, but still found my heart aching at certain longings, thoughts, and memories. This part of our self hugely affects the way we develop and function as adults. That may be why psychologists and counselors often explore child/parent relationships when searching for the root of many dysfunctions.

I have a theory that parents aren’t supposed to be parents forever. In fact, the job of a parent is to raise their child up to know and receive their true Eternal Parent, God the Father, into the parental place in their heart. This is the whole reason Jesus came to earth from Heaven; to connect us into a right relationship with our True and forever Heavenly Father. That's why Jesus said, "I won't leave you as orphans when I go, but I will send you my Holy Spirit" (John 14:15-18).

A couple years ago, I found bitterness in my self harbored toward my Dad for missed time together in my childhood. He was a chiefly servant-hearted man focused on working hard at several jobs to provide for his family; a common story among children of loving parents. But a side-effect of his provision focus was that we missed out on a plethora of experiences and times together. Over time, I grew up and went off to college. When I'd come back over summer break the ache of our underdeveloped relationship would rear up and shout at me every time we were in a room together. I brought this up with him and we made an effort to take more time for each other with occasional father/son dates. We slowly grew our friendship, but I still felt a tinge of bitterness for time lost early on with my Dad.

That's when I started asking God what to do about the pain. I felt him say, "Take your hurts to me and let me Father you in those places. This is when I started calling God 'Dad' instead of Father. He wanted to fill that Daddy spot in my heart. As I called Him Dad, He felt more and more like my Papa Dad instead of just 'God'. When I took my pains to Him, asking what He thought about them, He'd wash me with His loving words, calling me son and showing me those hurts from His perspective. I saw my own Dad with more understanding of his history, with more sympathy and love. After a good long while of that I decided to let go of those hurts and not hold onto any bitterness towards him for them, but to take him as he was with gratefulness for what we have in the present, focusing on building the relationship I longed for instead of dwelling on the past.

I was letting the Great Father take His rightful place in my heart and letting my sweet earthly Dad become a friend along the road. I can't tell you what wonders its done for my relationships with both of them!