The Father Spot

We all want to be loved by our parents. We all have that deep-seated yearning for their affection and approval. It's hardwired into our nature. But, unfortunately, I've never known a single person who's had this desire fully satisfied. Everyone walks around with dull aches and sharp pains from their mom or their dad. Even the best parents make mistakes. I myself had some of the best ones I've ever heard of, but still found my heart aching at certain longings, thoughts, and memories. This part of our self hugely affects the way we develop and function as adults. That may be why psychologists and counselors often explore child/parent relationships when searching for the root of many dysfunctions.

I have a theory that parents aren’t supposed to be parents forever. In fact, the job of a parent is to raise their child up to know and receive their true Eternal Parent, God the Father, into the parental place in their heart. This is the whole reason Jesus came to earth from Heaven; to connect us into a right relationship with our True and forever Heavenly Father. That's why Jesus said, "I won't leave you as orphans when I go, but I will send you my Holy Spirit" (John 14:15-18).

A couple years ago, I found bitterness in my self harbored toward my Dad for missed time together in my childhood. He was a chiefly servant-hearted man focused on working hard at several jobs to provide for his family; a common story among children of loving parents. But a side-effect of his provision focus was that we missed out on a plethora of experiences and times together. Over time, I grew up and went off to college. When I'd come back over summer break the ache of our underdeveloped relationship would rear up and shout at me every time we were in a room together. I brought this up with him and we made an effort to take more time for each other with occasional father/son dates. We slowly grew our friendship, but I still felt a tinge of bitterness for time lost early on with my Dad.

That's when I started asking God what to do about the pain. I felt him say, "Take your hurts to me and let me Father you in those places. This is when I started calling God 'Dad' instead of Father. He wanted to fill that Daddy spot in my heart. As I called Him Dad, He felt more and more like my Papa Dad instead of just 'God'. When I took my pains to Him, asking what He thought about them, He'd wash me with His loving words, calling me son and showing me those hurts from His perspective. I saw my own Dad with more understanding of his history, with more sympathy and love. After a good long while of that I decided to let go of those hurts and not hold onto any bitterness towards him for them, but to take him as he was with gratefulness for what we have in the present, focusing on building the relationship I longed for instead of dwelling on the past.

I was letting the Great Father take His rightful place in my heart and letting my sweet earthly Dad become a friend along the road. I can't tell you what wonders its done for my relationships with both of them!

God Doesn't Make Commercials

Spirituality works differently than I always thought. We are so used to being begged to buy things right, left, and always that below the steady verbal flow of our conscious thoughts, we assume, God must work the same way. We picture him as the admen on Madison Avenue who wine and dine and puff and pitch till they work us into a wanting frenzy or we shove them out of our living room with the push of a button. But God does not make commercials. He’s not trying to sell you something. He doesn't send out mass emails. He won't clutter up your mailbox with piles of paper suited only for starting fires in your hearth. He’s not going to coerce you into closeness with Him.

The Great Father invites. He is inviting you into real life--into joy and friendship and intimacy with His pure-love self, and His people are the instruments of this invitation.

For most of my life I operated under the assumption that if God really wanted something to happen, then He would make it happen. If He wanted me to know something, He would make it so obviously apparent that I couldn’t miss it. I’m not sure where this perspective came from, this idea that I was just an observer whom things happened to. My disposition was, and in many ways still is, to think of life as a passive event and myself an ineffective agent within it. Maybe you can relate to this. I’m daily working to live the opposite of that--to be an active agent with my will. That’s what I am. It’s what we all are.

Several places Jesus uses an odd phrase usually translated, “Whoever has ears to hear, let him hear.” I was puzzled by this saying for the longest time, not really understanding what he was trying to say. When I read it in Greek for the first time it made a lot more sense and served as a catalyst for me taking a more active approach to life--with God and in everything else. To explain it more fully I would translate this phrase as, “You have ears, they were made for hearing, so understand what I’m saying to you.” I always read this as “some people have ears who can hear what I’m saying, let those people hear and understand...the rest of you, well, better luck next time.” But that’s not at all what’s going on here. The latter part of this phrase is not a suggestion or idea. It’s not something he'd like a few people to do. It’s an imperative -- a command to all.

Jesus is inviting us, very loudly, to run after the treasures he has hidden for us to find. Walking with Him is like a kid on walking through the forest with his best friends on a treasure hunt. Just like the Proverb says: “It is the glory of God to hide a matter and the glory of kings to seek it out” (Prov. 25:2). There is a powerful distinction here: God doesn’t hide things from us, He hides things for us. You were made to uncover wonderful things throughout the adventure of your life. And through the process of discovering them we are made into kings and queens.

So look for Him, call to Him, seek His leading, His voice, His Word, His people, His truth, His reality, His Spirit to fill you up to the point of pouring out and spilling over. And don't stop after a few minutes, don't even stop after an hour, or a day, or months, or years. We’ve been trained by our inta-everything culture to have pleasantries beckon us towards them, but life is not meant to be a passive event. Go seek and knock and ask.  He is ever seeking to know and be known by you. There is ever more of Him to discover for those who will continually engage with Him in this mysterious thing called life.

A Dialogue with Dad: Learning to Listen in Prayer

As I've mentioned before, I believe an important part of prayer isn't just asking, or even thanking--it's listening. What might the Father be trying to tell you this afternoon? The other day I asked Him that question and was somewhat surprised with the answer! The following dialogue served to encourage me greatly, but the words He has for me are for you, too--and I hope you find encouragement in them as I did.

Bowing Your Knee

Eph. 3:14:

“Because of His gift, I bow my knee before the Father...”

As I walk through the week, I find my self worrying about what this or that person thinks. NPR or NBC, or some other combination of acronymial letters convinces me of what’s important that’s going on in the world and what should dominate my thoughts and feelings. I find my self constantly thinking about the news that flashes at me from my phone or computer screen. My ever-growing “to do list” constantly begs for my attention: at work, at home. I’m too distracted to notice that my whole life is hidden under the shadow of all these things I’ve deemed “important.” All these “important” things press me down. I’m supposed to filter through it all to find what’s worth my time and attention. But I’ve bowed my knee in too many places. What do I really know?

Our Heavenly Father is the only one we should ever bow a knee to, the only one to whom it’s appropriate to submit our whole selves. He knows all. He knows our hearts and futures, and dreams. He placed in us the beginnings of the great beings we are meant to become; much of which has yet to poke the beginnings of a sprout through our soil. When we bend the knee of our souls to Him we are empowered to do, dream, and become all that we were made for.

He is the One, the Mighty One, who loves and lifts up with His power. There is no other who can do what That One does. He is The One our hearts bow down to and in so doing, grow fully alive, fully their selves.

He is all. He is glorious. He is your Tender Loving Father who carries your best interest dear in His heart. Come near to Him. Receive His High-Father heart into yours and bow your whole self before Him. Take no other in that highest place that so many vie for every minute of every day. There you are His Beloved, child, daughter, son. There you are His low precious humble one. There He loves to lift you up to where you are seated with Him, in Heavenly places.

Thanks-giving

One of the greatest keys to a joy-filled life is practicing the art of thanksgiving. I’m not talking about the feasting and fun holiday quickly headed our way, I’m talking about the daily habit of gratitude. Even science has shown that the people who express gratitude the most end up being happier because of it. Gratitude puts on display the condition of one’s heart and the trajectory it’s taking. And, as I've recently discovered, we have a great deal of control in these matters.

I once spent a semester delving deep into the Apostle Paul’s letters where I read all of them three times in three months. I was taking a course on the subject from a brilliant scholar from whom I learned a great deal, but one thing struck me in that process that has altered me to this day: the command to always be grateful. It’s not a suggestion, it’s not even an encouragement--it’s a command.

I hadn't thought of gratitude as a command before--something to diligently hold to and actively do. It’s the result of good circumstance right? When good things happen you’re grateful, when bad things happen you’re disheartened and upset. I am affected by my circumstances. Some things hurt, others bring joy where they tread, and I can’t change how things make me feel. Some people are ‘Glass half full’ kind of people, others ‘Glass half empty.’ That’s what I’d always thought.

But Paul has other thoughts on the matter. He tells his readers to, “Be grateful in all circumstances” (1 Thess. 5:18). “And in all that you do, whether in word or work, do it while giving thanks to God the Father in the name of the Lord Jesus (Col. 3:17). The verb “give thanks,” εύχαριστέω, comes up 38 times in the New Testament! Here’s a list of several. The point? Thanks-giving is not an option you can chose to leave on the table uneaten if you want to live full in the Kingdom. You must feast on it daily. Breathe it in and speak it out. The air on Earth contains 78.09% nitrogen, 20.95% oxygen, 0.93% argon, 0.039% carbon dioxide, and small amounts of other gases. These are vital elements which keep our bodies pumping life through our veins. The air of Heaven similarly carries life throughout our soul but is made up of different substances. It’s 57% adoration, 38% gratitude, and a mixture of other elements too ineffable for human language at the present time. Breathe Heaven’s air and you invoke life to be on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Life and death are in the power of the tongue. You get to choose what you cultivate in your soul. Choose to be thank-filled. Choose life. Choose to thank God for every little detail of good in your surroundings with your first thoughts of the day, everyday, mingled with all your thoughts, all throughout the day. There is joy to be had, by goblets and gobbles when you sing the song of thanks-giving.

***** Rejoice all the time, pray unceasingly, and in every moment give thanks. This is God’s desire for you as you live in Christ Jesus. - 1 Thess. 5:16-18 (my translation)   ******

Up, Up, Away It Flew...

Up, up, away it flew,

    Her blue balloon of reddish hue.

For she let go, and in stead grew,

    A fresh young sprout, now well past due.

Crisp, country air let fly,

    Her spindling wisp, chasing off the dry.

Refreshment spurred an un-called sigh,

    Forgiveness found her how and why.

Let loose the bitter thoughts you hold.

     Release the past, set free the old.

Pray good for them, there you'll find gold.

     Come breathe the country air,

You'll see.

On Fear

        

        Do you think Kate is mad at me? She sounded so irritated with everything I said!

        No, she just gets like that sometimes. She's probably just had a shitty day or something.

        I don't know, she hates it when I bring up ______.

        Everything in the world thrives when it takes root in its proper place and all things grow into tyrants when they live where they were never meant to take a single breath. Fear is no exception. For the longest time I couldn't understand this. I only knew fear in the context of spiders, sharks, and scary movies. Fear was the unlit side of a dark schoolhouse, the shadows you hide from and scurry through. But then I saw fear in a place so odd it knocked all my preconceptions on their heads.

        "The fear of The Lord is the beginning of wisdom." (Prov. 9:10)

        The first time I read this I pursed my lips, wrinkled my forehead, and pondered the thing 'til I had to move on, with only more confusion to show for my efforts. I would hear "the fear of The Lord" preached from the pulpit but not know what to do with it. I knew Jesus was loving; was God the Father of the Old Testament someone you wouldn't want to upset because you might piss Him off? Is that what this 'fear The Lord' thing was all about? That doesn't seem like my good God. For years I had no idea what to make of it.

        But I kept coming back to the idea that everything has its proper place. A son who has no respect for his mom or dad becomes the tyrant of a home. A daughter who cares only for pleasing her self quickly grows into quite an uncomely creature. We are the children of God. To grow up well, we need to fear displeasing Him. He has the right perspective on everything in life. He was, before time began. He spoke time and every universe into life. We see but a few short decades through our tiny scope of experience. He perceives all time through every perspective. His desires are the ones to be afraid of walking against. His delights shine fullest joy into the essence of everything they touch. Pleasing Him is the most beautiful object our minds could ever focus on. That sounds strange to our current culture's ears, I know, but remember how he's made us. His joy is to bring us joy, to raise all that exists to its complete maturity, and make us creatures capable of reigning over creation with Him, below Him, to serve and uplift all that is and is not yet.

        Fear with any object other than God only ever leads deathward. When we fear peoples’ thoughts and opinions we get caught up in a furious tornado that tosses us around until we are so disoriented we don't know which way's North. But when we are blown by the Wind of God, His Holy Spirit, we are floated to fresh lands, rich and nourishing. Fear of anything but God is a shackle that keeps us tied to failure. Jesus comes to set us free, free to fear one thing: walking our day without God's voice and presence, alone. It is here that we are free to run into our true identity in Him. It is here that we find life, here that we grow into adults who know light from dark, death from life, nourishment from slow poison. And it is here that we are free to live fully alive. Don't get me wrong, fear is not our focus, not a major player in our thought lives and days. What I'm describing is the only place fear can fill the purpose it was made for. It was not made for us to stress about what our friends think of us, or obsess about whether we’ll succeed in our career, or even necessarily to tremble in the face of danger. Fear has only one good place.

        I see you now Fear. You hold the wide boundary, the border between Love and Death. You are the darkness outside the light that keeps me looking bright full into the radiant face of Love. Keep your place, come not in me. I will fix my eyes on the one who loves--what's more, the one who is LOVE, who defines love, the only one who fully knows all that word contains. I will live in Love. Fear, know your place. Keep your border well.