The Speaking in Tongues Controversy

 

There were certain circumstances I lived with growing up which afforded me heaps of time to my self which I deeply enjoyed. One, less than pleasant, circumstance which gave me a good deal of alone time as a child was IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). I spent an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom. Sorry if that's TMI, but it's necessary with the telling of this story. Thankfully, a few years ago, God miraculously and instantaneously healed me of this painful digestive disease (a story for another time), but as a child I'm grateful for all the time alone in the bathroom it gave me. I would sit, in a good deal of pain and be driven to prayer. This was before the dawn of smart phones, so one had space to sit and simply be in the bathroom, without a thousand voices beckoning to you from your pocket.

In my pain, or patience during times of simple waiting, I'd start to pray, to talk to my Heavenly Papa and pour out my heart  without any distractions. My little private prayer closet. For whatever reason, this, more than any other time, became a place I would talk to God out loud. Speaking turned into singing over the years. The little melodies I  heard in the stillness of this place, when I'd quiet my  mind and stretch my soul heavenward, I'd pour out of my mouth accompanying my concerns, requests and thanks to God. Paul writes of singing and making melodies in your heart to the Lord. I think this is where I first learned about that.

They say everyone sounds good singing in the bathroom, maybe that's why I was confident enough to make up songs and sing out my heart to the Lord there. I wasn't embarrassed or afraid, no one was around to hear me. I wouldn't call my self good at making up songs, not in the least, but I grew bolder and more fluid in singing what felt. I'd sing as I felt was in tune with the Holy Spirit. What came in I'd simply pour out, without hesitation or worry of messing up, it was just me and a considerably gracious audience; God. Sometimes, what I felt was in sync to sing, was a string of gibberish to skat to the tune I was singing. It came pretty easy, I knew about skatting, Five Iron Frenzy and the Jazz kings I heard in my Grandpa's car told me it was perfectly normal to sing strange sounds that only made sense in your soul, words only the soul could interpret.

"Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we don't know exactly what we should pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with unworded groans (groans which words can't express)." - Rom. 8:26

I didn't grow up hearing people 'speak in tongues' at church. In fact, I'd never heard anyone pray in tongues until a few years ago. I was at a small spiritual retreat with some people I greatly respected. I sat in a table four feet from the speaker in a beautiful stone clad modern room. Small tables grouped three or four strangers together. The first speaker walked up to the podium at the front of the room. Behind him, a glass wall of windows framed a captivating view of downtown Corvallis. The speaker, Ben Pasley, took a  moment to gather and look over his notes classically collected on a yellow pad. A few moments passed. I thought I heard him  mumbling under his breath. I strained my ears but couldn't make out what he said. He began teaching and I forgot about his odd mutterings, until he paused for questions. After one was asked, he took a moment before answering and again I heard him mumbling. I was sure no one else heard him, I was the closest to him and his odd behaviour nearly escaped me observation. Was he praying in tongues? Later, we broke into groups of four or five to pray for each other and I found my self in a group with Ben. We huddled up, hands on shoulders - a good old fashioned football style man-prayer - and as the guy across from me started praying I very clearly heard Ben speaking gibberish under his breath. He was praying in tongues!

The next day between sessions I ran into Ben in a consignment  shop near the building we met at. We struck up conversation for near the first time and I asked him about the  mumblings I overheard. He admitted he had been praying in tongues. "See, it builds up your spirit man. It's like vitamins to your soul. Have you ever prayed in tongues Thomas?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I think so." I told him about my singing and skatting in the bathroom. "Maybe I was praying in tongues, I don't know."

"Sounds like it to me." I asked him to pray for that gift for me and 'impart' what he had. Sounded biblical. He put his hand on my shoulder and said a short prayer asking the Spirit to stir up the gift of tongues in me. He finished his prayer then advised me to, "Pray in the Spirit as much as you can. When you wake up, when you shower, when you're doing mundane things like the dishes or driving in the car. Ya see, it builds up your spirit man, strengthening your spirit's connection with the Holy Spirit." A picture popped in my head of a string growing thicker and thicker into a sailor's rope, connecting my spirit to God's inside my chest.

I grew up thinking God was fully and completely in charge of anything spiritual. If something supernatural was going to happen, He would do it. It was up to Him, right? He's in charge. He's God. Contrary to this idea, I'm finding that God in reality loves working in tandem with His children. YHWH the God of actuality, not in theory or idea, is a living, active, with-His-people God. I like that. Speaking in tongues, then, is not something God forces on us. He doesn't overpower us and move our mouths to speak. Rather, when I connect my spirit to His and speak the sounds I feel in my heart, however strange they sound, it's a choice. I open my mouth and join with Him to pray. Of course we can mess up. Sometimes, maybe I am just making up gibberish and it's not from God. I'm learning that that's Okay. We get to stumble and trip when we're learing to walk in the Spirit, just like when we're learning to walk as a baby. I have a little niece who's just about at that stage. I was on the phone with my Big Brother last night and he couldn't stop talking about how his daughter is grabbing everything she can find to pull her self up to try to walk. She doesn't succeed most of the time, but she's building the necessary muscles she'll need to walk one day. The same process is true regarding spiritual matters. I may mess up at times. We're imperfect and in process. But I knew if I didn't try I'd have no chance of growing.

So when it came to learning the skill of praying in tongues, letting God's Spirit pour through my spirit words my mind couldn't process, it took time and practice. But I took Ben's words to heart and practiced listening for the river gurgling steadily through my soul; hearing it, articulating it, giving voice to it, through my heart or mouth as it felt appropriate to  do. Sometimes, I just felt the words were meant to be spoken out loud. Sometimes, it felt wrong to speak them audibly but my heart was just the right volume for them to come out at that moment. Either way, it was terrifically uncomfortable and awkward the first few weeks of daily effort. It sounded so foreign, so odd and uncomfortable. Am I just faking it and making all this gibberish up? It's so weird. SO WEIRD! For my entire life my entire culture and every voice in its history said, "If it doesn't make sense don't do it!" Our civilization is built on following reason and logic, to rational conclusions and actions. Primitive cultures act on feelings and intuition; superstition. What am I doing?! Why would I say words I don't understand? There can't be any value in this! But what if the words I'm saying do carry meaning? What if I'm learning to speak the language of my spirit, of the Holy Spirit pouring through me, praying  the perfect prayer of the moment to my Heavenly Father?

So I took my medicine regularly. Steadily, I heard the gurgling river become more crisp, loud, and clear in me. The more I did it, the more clear it sounded. When I heard good news from a friend, or a beautiful statement of God's character, the same word leapt in my heart, "Shabba!" like an 'Amen.' Was this a real language? Did this gibberish actually translate to real words in some small corner of the earth? or Heaven?

I don't know. But I can't deny that I felt more in tune with God's voice and leading. I was having more significant conversations with friends and strangers where I spoke encouragement  and what seemed like God's words of encouragement to people. One weekend a couple months into this praying in tongues exercises I hit a crescendo of praying in tongues. I was doing it constantly. Even while thinking and talking with people, the river of it was constantly flooding through my soul. This same weekend I had the most interesting weekend of my life when God worked three physical healings through me, one where I'm pretty sure I saw some angels and immediately experienced the remission of lifelong debilitating IBS (like I said earlier, that's a whole story in itself). That made me think, there's definitely more going on than me just making up gibberish on my own. Things are really happening here. So I continued to do it regularly and can say its only led to good things in the Lord.

Only one time in the last three years of praying in tongues have I felt lead to do so in a Church gathering and, surprise surprise, someone else felt like they had an interpretation. It was a beautiful admonishing experience for our community. That can happen, but most of the time it's a private prayer between me and DAD.

A handful of times I've felt God's presence strongly stirring in me to pray in Tongues, times where it's more Him than me, but usually it's been an act of my will engaging His. I grew up thinking, perhaps along with a few other people, that, "If God really wants something to happen He'll make it happen. We asked Him to heal grandma and it didn't happen, He must not have wanted to heal her, etc..." But what if there are more factors at play? What if He's waiting for us to grow and mature to engage with Him on His business in this complicated spiritual and physical world?

I've never  been bothered by the people who say you have to speak in tongues to be saved. It's always struck me as a such a silly and unbiblical idea that it didn't merit worry. I still believe that. All you need to be saved and  forgiven is to "confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved (Rom. 10:9)." That's all -- full stop. You don't need to earn or prove your salvation in any way, and I want to make that very clear. But, I also want to always remember that there is a lot more to life with God, to walking in His Kingdom, than merely 'being saved.' That's simply the beginning, the doorway into the Kingdom of God. That just gets us Born Again. We are created to be Born Again and then grow from infants into spiritually mature men and women of God, fully equipped to do the great works He's prepared for us to do (Eph. 4:11-13). The Father has so many gifts waiting for us to open and mature in. We don't get punished if we don't open them--our salvation is not at risk. But we can miss out good and beautiful gifts God's wrapped for us. I want everything He has for me. I want to open every gift with my name on it and learn to use it to my full potential.

Ask DAD to bring to mind a spiritual gift He wants you to open or to grow in right now. He is the giver of good gifts and He has a storehouse full of good things for you. Maybe even the gift of Tongues.

"Run after Love, and zealously pursue spiritual things...I want all of you to speak in tongues, but even more, for you all to prophesy (1 Cor. 14: 1, 5)."

nearly escaped me observation. Was he praying in tongues? Later, we broke into groups of four or five to pray for each other and I found my self in a group with Ben. We huddled up, hands on shoulders - a good old fashioned football style man-prayer - and as the guy across from me started praying I very clearly heard Ben speaking gibberish under his breath. He was praying in tongues!

The next day between sessions I ran into Ben in a consignment  shop near the building we met at. We struck up conversation for near the first time and I asked him about the  mumbling I overheard. He admitted he had been praying in tongues. "See, it builds up your spirit man. It's like vitamins to your soul. Have you ever prayed in tongues Thomas?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I think so." I told him about my singing and skatting in the bathroom. "Maybe I was praying in tongues, I don't know."

"Sounds like it to me." I asked him to pray for that gift for me and 'impart' what he had. Sounded biblical. He put his hand on my shoulder and said a short prayer asking the Spirit to stir up the gift of tongues in me. He finished his prayer then advised me to, "Pray in the Spirit as much as you can. When you wake up, when you shower, when you're doing mundane things like the dishes or driving in the car. Ya see, it builds up your spirit man, strengthening your spirit's connection with the Holy Spirit." A picture popped in my head of a string growing thicker and thicker into a sailor's rope, connecting my spirit to God's inside my chest.

I grew up thinking God was fully and completely in charge of anything spiritual. If something supernatural was going to happen, He would do it. It was up to Him, right? He's in charge. He's God. Contrary to this idea, I'm finding that God in reality loves working in tandem with His children. YHWH the God of actuality, not in theory or idea, is a living, active, with-His-people God. I like that. Speaking in tongues, then, is not something God forces on us. He doesn't overpower us and move our mouths to speak. Rather, when I connect my spirit to His and speak the sounds I feel in my heart, however strange they sound, it's a choice. I open my mouth and join with Him to pray. Of course we can mess up. Sometimes, maybe I am just making up gibberish and it's not from God. I'm learning that that's Okay. We get to stumble and trip when we're learing to walk in the Spirit, just like when we're learning to walk as a baby. I have a little niece who's just about at that stage. I was on the phone with my Big Brother last night and he couldn't stop talking about how his daughter is grabbing everything she can find to pull her self up to try to walk. She doesn't succeed most of the time, but she's building the necessary muscles she'll need to walk one day. The same process is true regarding spiritual matters. I may mess up at times. We're imperfect and in process. But I knew if I didn't try I'd have no chance of growing.

So when it came to learning the skill of praying in tongues, letting God's Spirit pour through my spirit words my mind couldn't process, it took time and practice. But I took Ben's words to heart and practiced listening for the river gurgling steadily through my soul; hearing it, articulating it, giving voice to it, through my heart or mouth as it felt appropriate to  do. Sometimes, I just felt the words were meant to be spoken out loud. Sometimes, it felt wrong to speak them audibly but my heart was just the right volume for them to come out at that moment. Either way, it was terrifically uncomfortable and awkward the first few weeks of daily effort. It sounded so foreign, so odd and uncomfortable. Am I just faking it and making all this gibberish up? It's so weird. SO WEIRD! For my entire life my entire culture and every voice in its history said, "If it doesn't make sense don't do it!" Our civilization is built on following reason and logic, to rational conclusions and actions. Primitive cultures act on feelings and intuition; superstition. What am I doing?! Why would I say words I don't understand? There can't be any value in this! But what if the words I'm saying do carry meaning? What if I'm learning to speak the language of my spirit, of the Holy Spirit pouring through me, praying  the perfect prayer of the moment to my Heavenly Father?

So I took my medicine regularly. Steadily, I heard the gurgling river become more crisp, loud, and clear in me. The more I did it, the more clear it sounded. When I heard good news from a friend, or a beautiful statement of God's character, the same word leapt in my heart, "Shabba!" like an 'Amen.' Was this a real language? Did this gibberish actually translate to real words in some small corner of the earth? or Heaven?

I don't know. But I can't deny that I felt more in tune with God's voice and leading. I was having more significant conversations with friends and strangers where I spoke encouragement  and what seemed like God's words of encouragement to people. One weekend a couple months into this praying in tongues exercises I hit a crescendo of praying in tongues. I was doing it constantly. Even while thinking and talking with people, the river of it was constantly flooding through my soul. This same weekend I had the most interesting weekend of my life when God worked three physical healings through me, one where I'm pretty sure I saw some angels and immediately experienced the remission of lifelong debilitating IBS (like I said earlier, that's a whole story in itself). That made me think, there's definitely more going on than me just making up gibberish on my own. Things are really happening here. So I continued to do it regularly and can say its only led to good things in the Lord.

Only one time in the last three years of praying in tongues have I felt lead to do so in a Church gathering and, surprise surprise, someone else felt like they had an interpretation. It was a beautiful admonishing experience for our community. That can happen. But most of the time, it's a private prayer between me and DAD.

A handful of times I've felt God's presence strongly stirring in me to pray in Tongues, times where it's more Him than me, but usually it's been an act of my will engaging His. I grew up thinking, perhaps along with a few other people, that, "If God really wants something to happen He'll make it happen. We asked Him to heal grandma and it didn't happen, He must not have wanted to heal her, etc..." But what if there are more factors at play? What if He's waiting for us to grow and mature to engage with Him on His business in this complicated spiritual and physical world?

I've never  been bothered by the people who say you have to speak in tongues to be saved. It's always struck me as a such a silly and unbiblical idea that it didn't merit worry. I still believe that. All you need to be saved and  forgiven is to "confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved (Rom. 10:9)." That's all -- full stop. You don't need to earn or prove your salvation in any way, and I want to make that very clear. But, I also want to always remember that there is a lot more to life with God, to walking in His Kingdom, than merely 'being saved.' That's simply the beginning, the doorway into the Kingdom of God. That just gets us Born Again. We are created to be Born Again and then grow from infants into spiritually mature men and women of God, fully equipped to do the great works He's prepared for us to do (Eph. 4:11-13). The Father has so many gifts waiting for us to open and mature in. We don't get punished if we don't open them--our salvation is not at risk. But we can miss out good and beautiful gifts God's wrapped for us. I want everything He has for me. I want to open every gift with my name on it and learn to use it to my full potential.

Ask DAD to bring to mind a spiritual gift He wants you to open or to grow in right now. He is the giver of good gifts and He has a storehouse full of good things for you. Maybe even the gift of Tongues.

"Run after Love, and zealously pursue spiritual things...I want all of you to speak in tongues, but even more, for you all to prophesy (1 Cor. 14: 1, 5)."

God's Great Gift: His Spirit

Jesus spoke of one aid in our walk toward living Heaven on Earth that thrusts us further than all the rest. One thing Jesus left his followers, even before the gift of the written records of his life and words, his Holy Spirit.

“In Him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28)." We live in Him - in Jesus, who is in the Father. But the only way this is possible is by, through, and in his Holy Spirit.

“It is good I’m am going, for when I do, I will send you the Counselor, the Spirit of Truth, and He will guide you into all truth...You can trust Him for He only speaks what He hears me saying (John 16:7, 13).”

I grew up in what I call the more "cerebral" side of the Church, as I wrote about here. There were countless advantages from this upbringing that I wouldn't trade for the world, but one of the major drawbacks was a distrust of people who claimed to have serious dealings with the Holy Spirit. It came in like one of those weeds that looks like a flower but only serves to suck the life from the roses it surrounds. No one outright said that the Holy Spirit was to be distrusted, but I was warned against 'those crazy pentecostals' by stories of painful encounters from one person after another. Stories of being told "you're not 'saved' if you don't speak in ‘tongues.’” I don’t know about you, but being told you’re “not saved” is never a pleasant thing to hear from anyone, especially as an ardently practicing Christian.

I was told in church that these Pentecostals were driven by emotions. I was asked in college, “How can you know if a feeling is the Holy Spirit or merely indigestion?” However it was put, the underlying message was always the same, “You can’t trust feelings, who knows where they come from, whether they’re yours or God’s or your breakfasts’. But the mind, you can trust your mind. You can measure and assess and make informed decisions with your mind.”

So the mind was crowned king and few questioned his reign. And why should they? He is the most sensible ruler, the reasonable choice. But the problem is, he doesn’t, and can’t on his own, illustrate the full picture of any situation. Especially life with God and His Spirit. I can only figure out so much with my own mind. There's so much territory in my soul and the world it leaves uncharted. I need more than mere reason can supply. Yes, the vats of information accessible at the click of a button are vast and quickly expanding, but how much they have to say about the everyday personal decisions that matter in our lives is painfully limited. If God really can speak to us directly, and guide us throughout the day, well, that’s an invaluable resource. If we can converse with our Maker and Heavenly Father, and He could speak directly to us, well, He might have a few things to say worth listening to. Nay, the whole reason Jesus came to die for us was to connect us to the Father through the Holy Spirit. He's worth all our attention.

"But when that one, the Spirit of Truth comes, He will guide you down the path to all truth. For He does not speak from Himself, but He will only speak what He hears; and He will disclose to you what is to come. (John 16:13)"

God’s Spirit is with you, waiting to have your attention. He is trying to speak to us. He wants what every relationship wants; to know you and be known by you. Let’s journey together to learn His voice from all the rest, He has wonderful, aiding, and tender words for each of us. Ask what He wants you to hear today. Trust He is always speaking. He wants to speak with you.

The Father Spot

We all want to be loved by our parents. We all have that deep-seated yearning for their affection and approval. It's hardwired into our nature. But, unfortunately, I've never known a single person who's had this desire fully satisfied. Everyone walks around with dull aches and sharp pains from their mom or their dad. Even the best parents make mistakes. I myself had some of the best ones I've ever heard of, but still found my heart aching at certain longings, thoughts, and memories. This part of our self hugely affects the way we develop and function as adults. That may be why psychologists and counselors often explore child/parent relationships when searching for the root of many dysfunctions.

I have a theory that parents aren’t supposed to be parents forever. In fact, the job of a parent is to raise their child up to know and receive their true Eternal Parent, God the Father, into the parental place in their heart. This is the whole reason Jesus came to earth from Heaven; to connect us into a right relationship with our True and forever Heavenly Father. That's why Jesus said, "I won't leave you as orphans when I go, but I will send you my Holy Spirit" (John 14:15-18).

A couple years ago, I found bitterness in my self harbored toward my Dad for missed time together in my childhood. He was a chiefly servant-hearted man focused on working hard at several jobs to provide for his family; a common story among children of loving parents. But a side-effect of his provision focus was that we missed out on a plethora of experiences and times together. Over time, I grew up and went off to college. When I'd come back over summer break the ache of our underdeveloped relationship would rear up and shout at me every time we were in a room together. I brought this up with him and we made an effort to take more time for each other with occasional father/son dates. We slowly grew our friendship, but I still felt a tinge of bitterness for time lost early on with my Dad.

That's when I started asking God what to do about the pain. I felt him say, "Take your hurts to me and let me Father you in those places. This is when I started calling God 'Dad' instead of Father. He wanted to fill that Daddy spot in my heart. As I called Him Dad, He felt more and more like my Papa Dad instead of just 'God'. When I took my pains to Him, asking what He thought about them, He'd wash me with His loving words, calling me son and showing me those hurts from His perspective. I saw my own Dad with more understanding of his history, with more sympathy and love. After a good long while of that I decided to let go of those hurts and not hold onto any bitterness towards him for them, but to take him as he was with gratefulness for what we have in the present, focusing on building the relationship I longed for instead of dwelling on the past.

I was letting the Great Father take His rightful place in my heart and letting my sweet earthly Dad become a friend along the road. I can't tell you what wonders its done for my relationships with both of them!

A Dialogue with Dad: Learning to Listen in Prayer

As I've mentioned before, I believe an important part of prayer isn't just asking, or even thanking--it's listening. What might the Father be trying to tell you this afternoon? The other day I asked Him that question and was somewhat surprised with the answer! The following dialogue served to encourage me greatly, but the words He has for me are for you, too--and I hope you find encouragement in them as I did.

Bowing Your Knee

Eph. 3:14:

“Because of His gift, I bow my knee before the Father...”

As I walk through the week, I find my self worrying about what this or that person thinks. NPR or NBC, or some other combination of acronymial letters convinces me of what’s important that’s going on in the world and what should dominate my thoughts and feelings. I find my self constantly thinking about the news that flashes at me from my phone or computer screen. My ever-growing “to do list” constantly begs for my attention: at work, at home. I’m too distracted to notice that my whole life is hidden under the shadow of all these things I’ve deemed “important.” All these “important” things press me down. I’m supposed to filter through it all to find what’s worth my time and attention. But I’ve bowed my knee in too many places. What do I really know?

Our Heavenly Father is the only one we should ever bow a knee to, the only one to whom it’s appropriate to submit our whole selves. He knows all. He knows our hearts and futures, and dreams. He placed in us the beginnings of the great beings we are meant to become; much of which has yet to poke the beginnings of a sprout through our soil. When we bend the knee of our souls to Him we are empowered to do, dream, and become all that we were made for.

He is the One, the Mighty One, who loves and lifts up with His power. There is no other who can do what That One does. He is The One our hearts bow down to and in so doing, grow fully alive, fully their selves.

He is all. He is glorious. He is your Tender Loving Father who carries your best interest dear in His heart. Come near to Him. Receive His High-Father heart into yours and bow your whole self before Him. Take no other in that highest place that so many vie for every minute of every day. There you are His Beloved, child, daughter, son. There you are His low precious humble one. There He loves to lift you up to where you are seated with Him, in Heavenly places.

Up, Up, Away It Flew...

Up, up, away it flew,

    Her blue balloon of reddish hue.

For she let go, and in stead grew,

    A fresh young sprout, now well past due.

Crisp, country air let fly,

    Her spindling wisp, chasing off the dry.

Refreshment spurred an un-called sigh,

    Forgiveness found her how and why.

Let loose the bitter thoughts you hold.

     Release the past, set free the old.

Pray good for them, there you'll find gold.

     Come breathe the country air,

You'll see.

On Fear

        

        Do you think Kate is mad at me? She sounded so irritated with everything I said!

        No, she just gets like that sometimes. She's probably just had a shitty day or something.

        I don't know, she hates it when I bring up ______.

        Everything in the world thrives when it takes root in its proper place and all things grow into tyrants when they live where they were never meant to take a single breath. Fear is no exception. For the longest time I couldn't understand this. I only knew fear in the context of spiders, sharks, and scary movies. Fear was the unlit side of a dark schoolhouse, the shadows you hide from and scurry through. But then I saw fear in a place so odd it knocked all my preconceptions on their heads.

        "The fear of The Lord is the beginning of wisdom." (Prov. 9:10)

        The first time I read this I pursed my lips, wrinkled my forehead, and pondered the thing 'til I had to move on, with only more confusion to show for my efforts. I would hear "the fear of The Lord" preached from the pulpit but not know what to do with it. I knew Jesus was loving; was God the Father of the Old Testament someone you wouldn't want to upset because you might piss Him off? Is that what this 'fear The Lord' thing was all about? That doesn't seem like my good God. For years I had no idea what to make of it.

        But I kept coming back to the idea that everything has its proper place. A son who has no respect for his mom or dad becomes the tyrant of a home. A daughter who cares only for pleasing her self quickly grows into quite an uncomely creature. We are the children of God. To grow up well, we need to fear displeasing Him. He has the right perspective on everything in life. He was, before time began. He spoke time and every universe into life. We see but a few short decades through our tiny scope of experience. He perceives all time through every perspective. His desires are the ones to be afraid of walking against. His delights shine fullest joy into the essence of everything they touch. Pleasing Him is the most beautiful object our minds could ever focus on. That sounds strange to our current culture's ears, I know, but remember how he's made us. His joy is to bring us joy, to raise all that exists to its complete maturity, and make us creatures capable of reigning over creation with Him, below Him, to serve and uplift all that is and is not yet.

        Fear with any object other than God only ever leads deathward. When we fear peoples’ thoughts and opinions we get caught up in a furious tornado that tosses us around until we are so disoriented we don't know which way's North. But when we are blown by the Wind of God, His Holy Spirit, we are floated to fresh lands, rich and nourishing. Fear of anything but God is a shackle that keeps us tied to failure. Jesus comes to set us free, free to fear one thing: walking our day without God's voice and presence, alone. It is here that we are free to run into our true identity in Him. It is here that we find life, here that we grow into adults who know light from dark, death from life, nourishment from slow poison. And it is here that we are free to live fully alive. Don't get me wrong, fear is not our focus, not a major player in our thought lives and days. What I'm describing is the only place fear can fill the purpose it was made for. It was not made for us to stress about what our friends think of us, or obsess about whether we’ll succeed in our career, or even necessarily to tremble in the face of danger. Fear has only one good place.

        I see you now Fear. You hold the wide boundary, the border between Love and Death. You are the darkness outside the light that keeps me looking bright full into the radiant face of Love. Keep your place, come not in me. I will fix my eyes on the one who loves--what's more, the one who is LOVE, who defines love, the only one who fully knows all that word contains. I will live in Love. Fear, know your place. Keep your border well.

A Balanced View

       As Christians, we believe in God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Thanks to the innovative creativity of Tertullian, we call this beautiful paradox the ‘Trinity’ (he invented this word in Latin to help people think and talk about this idea). The difficulty of understanding the way Scripture describes this reality of one God in three persons has been the source of great confusion throughout the Church’s life, not to mention the lives of many individuals. 

        I won’t try to explain here how our Heavenly Father is unified with, yet distinct from the Son and Spirit--that is a massive undertaking which I have no intention of taking under presently. I want to look here at how we act towards the triune God in our everyday lives. 

        A Theology professor of mine once said, “Though we say we believe in one God in three persons, we usually treat him like he is only one and not three or only three and not one.” I’ve noticed something similar in most Church gatherings. Usually, a church focuses prominently on one person of the trinity, while the other two sit hidden in the background nearly forgotten. I grew up in the mainstream protestant side of the Church, where Jesus was the central focus. The Father took a back seat, and Holy Spirit was so far back He was barely holding on to the emergency exit door of the bus as He flailed out the back. Most of the songs, teachings and answers in my Sunday gathering were about Jesus. Many Christians know that the ‘Sunday-school’ answer to every question, no matter what, is ‘Jesus.’

        This may not sound like a bad thing, Jesus being the grand focus and all. But everything has a place and a measure it functions in best. When it is out of its place or experienced in a measure other than its best, there is something lacking in our experience, even if we don’t recognize it. For example, an action or idea may not be wrong because of being vile or wicked, it may be wrong simply because it pushes another thing out of its proper place and causes imbalance in your or another person’s life. If we focus solely on Jesus, we miss out on who He was always emphasizing: His Father. Or we might even be neglecting the very one He sent to us, the one He implored us to look to after He was gone: The Holy Spirit.

        Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection was wholly for the purpose of connecting us, through adoption, with The Great Father. The means by which Jesus did and still does this is through the Holy Spirit and living continually in the Holy Spirit. This is what we were made for. It’s exactly what Jesus worked for and preached His whole life on earth: life as children of the Father in, by, and through His Holy Spirit.

        My point is certainly not that we need to value Jesus less. My point is we need to value the Spirit and the Father more. Or, perhaps it’s the other way around for you. Who in the Godhead do you talk with the most in prayer? With whom do you most often relate? Who do you connect with the least out of the Trinity?

        Are you relating to the Father as His son, or daughter?

        Are you living as a highly valued child of God?

        Are you being led into all truth and empowered to do great things by his Holy Spirit?

        Do you recognize and respond to the Spirit’s voice throughout the day?

        Are relating to your rescuer, brother, and King; Jesus?

        Who do you know the most deeply, and who might you be neglecting?

        Though it’s most simple to focus just on Jesus or the Father, or the Spirit, we mature most fully as we grow in our relationships with all three members of the Trinity. Practice addressing each person in the Godhead individually. Ask The Spirit to show you what is lacking and what is off balance for you here. Ask him to give you a balanced and more full view of life with Him.